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August 2018
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Ordinary People Taking Action
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Soft Skills are like Software.4/26/2018  When I coach people, I often stress the importance of ‘soft skills’, which I define as empathy, communication, resilience, leadership, stress management, collaboration, teamwork and self-confidence. I believe there is a difference between soft skills and emotional intelligence. I know some use the terms interchangeably, but that is for another post.
Unfortunately, these qualities tend to be grossly undervalued in the workplace relative to ‘hard skills’ such as technical ability. On a more positive note, however, I’m seeing evidence of an overall uptick in awareness about soft skills.
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The Wrong Conversation4/25/2018  I’ll start by saying this. I believe we are having the wrong conversation about millennials. I promise to explain why, but you’ll need some context first. So let’s back up several years.
Approximately 10 years ago, I found myself in an interesting professional niche. I was a little older than 30 and found myself easily connecting with senior-level leads at large organizations, such as Microsoft. Around that same time, I found myself easily relating to recent college graduates who were new to the professional world – the mid-20-somethings. It didn’t take long before this dynamic led me to take on the role of “coach”, bridging the communication gap between millennials and the executive team. Consistently, what I’d hear from the executive team, primarily 50-something men at the time, was that the millennials were “hard to manage,” “entitled,” “self-absorbed,” “uncommitted,” and a long list of additional not-so-flattering words.
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Why she resigned.4/24/2018  In 20 years coaching professionals, I’ve learned that the biggest impact in determining career success is the development of “soft skills”. Without question, the functional knowledge of a job is important, but if we don’t succeed at making human connections at work, that’s usually a deal breaker.
I believe you can tell a lot about how a company views the importance of their employees by:
Over the years, the term “soft skills” has taken on a negative association. Maybe because the term is overused. Maybe because the impact of these skills isn’t measurable. Or maybe because we haven’t yet discovered the key to developing them. Whatever the reason, those who fail to establish “soft skills” struggle in their careers. I know this to be true.
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 Hello! We are just ONE WEEK away from our book club with Joshua Miller! Hopefully by now you have purchased the book and have read it (or have plans to read it this week). As we prepare for the upcoming book club, Josh has a message for you all:
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Be who you are.4/18/2018  Just shy of two business days in, I can already say that it’s been an interesting week. As I write this it is only Tuesday afternoon.
As I have expressed in previous posts, I am someone who truly views feedback as a gift. That hasn’t changed. But right now, the daily feedback, whether asked for or spontaneously given, feels overwhelming. It’s as though I have reached the limit of my ability to accept the gifts being offered. What have I been told? For starters, I have been told that I care too much about others and I need to put myself and my needs first. It’s a message I’ve now heard from five people in two days. That is a confusing message to hear because for more than fifteen years, I have been told that putting the needs of others first is the way to approach business, to lead a team.
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Vanish4/16/2018  Early this week, my 14-year-old son and his girlfriend broke up, after six months of dating. It’s one of those normal milestones parents know their kids will go through. Nevertheless, it’s impossible to predict how hurtful that first breakup will be. In my son’s case, I was surprised and happy that not only was it a very drama-free breakup, but the relationship ended with the two of them still friends. That rarely happens in 8th grade, and I’m proud of both kids for their maturity.
Interestingly, within five minutes of the breakup, my son removed all mention of his now-ex-girlfriend from his social media accounts. He cleared his entire picture feed; she did too. Then he went through his phone and started deleting every picture of the two of them together. Before he was finished, I stopped him with a request.
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 What would it mean to help illuminate the underlying thinking patterns that drive behavior and thereby gain access to new choices and possibilities? We all have a trajectory of development that is defined by stages. Stages 1 and 2 happen in our childhood and teenage years, and 75% of adults never go beyond stage 3.
We are shaped by the definitions and expectations of our personal environment – drawn to seeking alignment between our “self” and our surroundings. Because of this, in stage 3, we tend to surround ourselves by “like-minded” individuals. We identify and externally validate ourselves by our work, relationships, achievements, and possessions. While this is not necessarily a bad stage to stay in, it can become limiting. For example, we might feel inadequate or start to settle. There are a bunch of psychologists who dig a lot deeper into this than I just did, if you’re interested.
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Guest Post By: Tom Perry, Founder, Engaged Pursuit The tech market is hot, but finding an engaging gig takes focus, patience, and positivity. But most importantly it takes hustle. Here’s the story of Ryan’s longer-than-anticipated path. Clients are often surprised when I tell them that finding a new, more engaging role takes time. Sometimes a lot of time. Even in Seattle’s hot tech market (with still over 60 cranes across the skyline), clients quickly learn that the competition is insane and organizations are super-picky. “Finding the right match for you is going to take both time and hustle,” I tell clients. “It’s not going to be easy.” Ryan found that advice spot-on.
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Gratitude4/5/2018  It was years ago, and my email signature said “With gratitude” before my name. I received the feedback that it was not professional and that it should say “Thank you. Kind regards. Sincerely… I needed to use a more professional phase.” The person providing me with this feedback was senior to me, so I listened and changed my signature to “Thank you.” It felt generic, but I decided it wasn’t a fight worth fighting.
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The Freedom to Fail4/4/2018  Guest Post By: Jenna Powers, HR Director at Amazon
I am sitting in the café on the second floor of Amazon’s Doppler building, craning my neck, looking for a vantage point where the Seattle sun isn’t glaring so badly against my tablet screen and I can read what I’m typing. My phone is alive next to me, resting on the weather page for Cary, North Carolina. It is 77 degrees in Cary today, but the forecast for Saturday is 43 degrees and snow. I’m running a 100 mile race in Cary on Saturday. Absent lightning or some other real, physical danger to runners, races don’t get canceled. Not even for 43 degrees and snow. But maybe you’re still on the part about running 100 miles. Yes, this is a thing. Yes, I will run and walk for approximately 24 straight hours. No, I won’t sleep in the middle of it. Yes, I will stop and use the bathroom. Yes, I will eat real food, but on my feet while moving. No, I’m not happy about the weather forecast. |
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